Ripe
by joyseepoo
Summary: After a Halloween party, a banana-clad Naruto and Sasuke end up stranded on a creepy road. With a serial killer on the lose, things get real scary. OneShot.


AN: Meh. In the spirit of Halloween, here's some smut and nonsense for everyone. Enjoy.

**Ripe**

Cerulean eyes followed a piece of lint floating in the air, slightly becoming irritated at the blinding lights attached to the ceiling of the room. It had been approximately fifteen minutes since the pink haired girl had started her little rant about how the current holiday had pressured most women to wear slutty costumes and how every costume made was to hyper-sexualize every female.

"But that's not going to stop you." Naruto droned as he continued to watch the lint with avid interest.

"Hell no. Honestly, I am peeved about how every girl feels the need to dress like a whore on Halloween. But then again, it's the only time you can do that without having someone judge you. And if this is one way to get a guys attention…"

"Hm."

"So? What do you think? Too much or not enough?"

Sakura emerged from the bathroom and modeled her outfit to her guy friend, giving a slow twirl to show him every aspect of the costume. She had decided to done a white satin body suit that had red trimmings on it, thigh high white stockings that were clipped to white garter clasps, red peekaboo-toed platform heels, a white nurse hat, and lastly, a stethoscope to complete the look.

"That shouldn't even be considered a costume. That's goddamn lingerie," The blonde scoffed, "You might as well just throw a regular pair of panties and bras on along with some cat ears."

"I'll take it as 'just enough'." Sakura grinned as she bounced with excitement.

"Seriously, it's cold out there, Sakura—"

"It comes with a skirt, so if anything, I can throw it on."

The blonde rolled his eyes at her response and flopped down on the bed.

"Don't think I forgot about your costume, Naruto."

The pink-haired girl beamed as another wave of Halloween induced excitement washed over her and a wave of dread passed over the blonde.

* * *

><p>Naruto wanted to die. He would've liked nothing more to have someone push him in front of a moving vehicle at the moment. How Sakura had managed to get him in the ridiculous get-up he was sporting was beyond his understanding. Then he remembered how Sakura had threatened to punch him into the hardwood floors of his home until he was no more.<p>

_'Sounds about right.'_

He shifted uncomfortably in his costume.

"Naruto!"

The blonde directed his attention to the source of the voice and mustered a pathetic look.

"Kiba."

The boy gave the blue-eyed teen a lookover and opened his mouth only to close it again. He was at a loss for words and Naruto prayed that someone at this party would do him the honorable favors of ending his life.

"Buddha is praying for you." Kiba finally stated.

"Sakura." The blonde replied, that one name giving the other boy all the explanation he needed.

Kiba had decided to wear a 'Scooby-Doo' costume and it was apparent he was regretting it. With the amount of people and body heat they were creating, plus the amount of alcohol that the boy was consuming, it was evident the dog-loving boy was overheating in his fuzzy brown costume.

Naruto, on the other hand, was burning with embarrassment.

He was sporting a banana costume, complete with yellow tights, yellow shoes, and a red, gigantic, fabric oval "sticker" that was stitched to his ass that read "Ripe for Tonight".

He should have let Sakura beat him into a bloody pulp. She was such a bully.

"You know what will fix that mood?" A voice supplied between the two boys, "Alcohol. Drink up."

Naruto glared at the pink-haired "nurse" and grabbed the red plastic cup she offered.

"And if you're still not happy, I have something else that can fix that, too." Sakura winked at him and gave a mischievous grin.

"Whatever it is, I want it now." Naruto grudged, downing the contents of the cup. He watched as Sakura slipped a clear capsule, a white powdery substance inside, between her teeth, her grin widening.

"Then kiss me." She managed to say around the drug.

Kiba watched as the blonde made for the girl's mouth. Obviously, Sakura was well on her way to becoming 'Debaucherous Drunk Sakura' who only came out when the girl drank tequila. 'Debaucherous Drunk Sakura' was too long to articulate while she was drunk, so she had given herself an alter ego named Jhene. Pronounced as Jenn-Ay, not like the denim pants.

The blonde's lips touched the other girls as he accepted her gift into his mouth, withdrawing from her and grabbing the other red cup out of her hand, downing its contents as well.

"Greedy." The girl sighed, glancing at the boy with the red markings on his face. "Do you want some?"

Kiba raised an eyebrow.

"I do, but I can pop the pill myself. Hinata can be scary, especially if she finds me accepting drugs directly from a girls mouth."

* * *

><p>An hour later and Naruto's pupils were the size of quarters. Around the black orbs were thin blue rings that were the blonde's irises. His eyes occasionally rolled back as he tried to focus on his surroundings.<p>

He tried to concentrate on the other teens that were having multiple conversations around him, most of them drunk and all of them completely un-sober.

"You're pretty fucked up, huh, dobe?"

He turned his head towards the voice, the action was seemingly slow motion to him; in reality, he al butl whipped his head, the sound of his neck cracking was unnoticed to him. His eyes widened, if that was possible, as a grin that was almost maniacal plastered itself onto his face.

"Sasuke, bastard, what the fuck are you?"

Sasuke stared at the blonde's choice of wear and snickered.

"Guess."

Naruto inhaled deeply. Breathing had never felt so great in his life before. He had never been so concentrated on figuring out what the raven-haired teen was dressed as either. The other boy was dressed in normal attire save for the hat that had a fake leaf tied and dangling in front of the pale face.

"You are… Lame."

"What about this?" Sasuke blew the leaf and it swayed to and fro.

"I think I got it…" Naruto's eyes narrowed in consternation, he inhaled again through clenched teeth and exhaled slowly.

"I'm a leaf blower."

"That was my second guess."

Sasuke took note of how the boy's jaw clenched and unclenched, as he repetitively bit his lip and sucked it. He mentally groaned as he watched the boy unknowingly tease him.

"By the looks of it, you're rolling pretty hard." He commented softly.

"I've never felt better. I feel like I can transform into a unicorn and just have an adventure through the universe," The other boy blurted, "I don't think I've ever felt this happy. Not since I discovered how to use a toaster."

The dark-eyed boy suppressed a laugh at the nonsense the cute blonde was babbling. He took a stumble back when the blonde stepped towards him, nearing his face closer to his.

"Sasuke, I feel… I feel…"

The young Uchiha stared into the huge eyes that were nearly consumed by dark pupils.

_'Tell me you feel like coming home with me tonight.'_

"Really, really… _Good_."

_'I bet I can make you feel better.'_

Sasuke was about to blurt those thoughts when he noticed a blur of pink attach itself onto Naruto's left arm.

"Naruto, if shit doesn't play out the way I planned, I'm going home with you," Sakura rested her head against the boy as she gave him big puppy-dog eyes, then winked, "We can have our own private party."

Sasuke blanched at the other girl's suggestion. Then frowned as the blonde nodded eagerly.

"Yeah! Air is so great right now!" Naruto exclaimed, "I feel like the ideas that are going on in my head are great too! I feel like—"Sharp inhale, "A damn pioneer right now! Everything is possible."

Sakura giggled as she planted a kiss on his cheek and ventured off towards the alcohol filled table. Sasuke scowled as he carefully and methodically figured out what he could do to get things rolling his way. He chugged down the jungle juice that he was still holding onto.

He smirked.

"Hey, come out with me. I wanna smoke." He all but demanded.

Naruto didn't notice. If anything, he thought that was a damn brilliant idea.

* * *

><p>"I <em>feel<em> like I can finally die happy."

Ten minutes later, Naruto could feel the impending peak.

Sasuke raised a delicate brow as Naruto continued to give him a play by play on how he felt. He raised the cigarette to his lips and took a long drag, causing his buzz to enhance. If he finished his refilled cup of jungle juice, he would be drunk. He had downed at least five cups of the mystery concoction of alcohol before he had approached the blonde.

"Here, take a drag." He pressed the butt of the cigarette to the blonde's lip and smiled when the blonde didn't hesitate.

"That feels great! I feel great!" The blonde's voice was chock-full of unbridled excitement and enthusiasm.

"Great. Wanna come back to my place?"

Naruto frowned.

"But Sakura, the party… It just feels so good to be here." The blonde responded, his lips pursing out and then bit his bottom lip.

Sasuke's mouth dropped as he watched the blonde act sexy without trying. He was looking damn delectable, even though his pupils made him look like he was being possessed.

"It feels really good in my room." He blurted.

"Well, if you say so! Should I go tell Sakura? I think I should tell her."

Before the blonde could run back into the house, Sasuke had already grabbed his hand and was dragging him off towards where he had parked his car. He squeezed the clammy hands in his grip in reassurance with the blonde gave a squeak of protest.

Naruto's nostrils flared as he took another whiff of cold air and life.

* * *

><p>So, not everything had panned out the way the Uchiha expected. There was no heated make out scene where he and the blonde were crashing into everything in his apartment, knocking everything down in their wake. There was no tearing off of the clothes in unrestrained passion. As of right now, it was far from how he had wanted things to go.<p>

Naruto had convinced Sasuke to let him drive, due to the fact that the raven-haired teen was too drunk. He had persuaded the young Uchiha easily, making the winning statement that he was always the "designated drunk driver" all the time and that driving on MDMA would be easy. To further make a point, Naruto had explained that he had driven through a McDonalds narrow drive through completely shit-faced and he had managed to exit without any damages.

He was shortly going to regret his decisions after strapping his seat belt.

To say the blonde was driving like a maniac was under exaggerating. The blonde was at least 50 mph over the limit and turning corners as if he was auditioning for a role in one of the "Fast and the Furious" series. Sasuke had frantically searched for any bag in his car to release the contents of what was coming up from his stomach. To his relief, he found a plastic bag. After articulating his discomfort and concern in between cuss words and heaves, Sasuke finally felt the car come to a stop. His head spun and he felt as if he was perennially falling sideways in slow motion. He coughed and wiped the corner of his mouth against the back of his hand, glancing around to check if they had made it to their destination.

His eyes squinted in confusion.

"Where are we?"

It was pitch black outside, save for the cars headlights and the light the full moon provided. There were no lamp posts and from what Sasuke could tell, Naruto had taken some odd scenic route on a desolate road that no one drove through too often. The car was parked off to the side, close to tall grassy area. He continued to take in his surrounding with a slight growing horror. He rubbed his eyes as he began to have double vision, causing him to close his eyes, which then in turn made him feel like he was falling again. He purged into the bag again.

"I just felt like I could drive forever." The blonde explained. "But I guess that can't happen when you run out of gas, right, Sasuke?"

The raven-haired teen slowly turned to his friend, mouth hanging open in disbelief. He tried to form words but only managed to look like a gasping fish out of water. All he wanted to do was throttle the huge banana that had driven them into the middle of nowhere in the ungodly hours of the night.

"That's ok, we can just call someone, ne?" Naruto's voice was still full of enthusiasm, completely not comprehending the severity of their situation.

Sasuke watched, mouth still agape, as the blonde pulled out his cell phone from the pockets of his banana costume and squinted his eyes as he looked at the screen. He then raised the phone until it was touching the roof of his car.

"No service, huh." The raven-haired teen stated.

"How did you know?" Naruto was genuinely curious.

Sasuke attempted to perform some breathing techniques to calm down. The world was still spinning, the banana boy was still looking at him expectantly, and he was about to murder the idiot and drag his mangled body back to civilization right after he had his way with him.

_'Right now is not the time to be thinking about that ripe ass, Sasuke.'_

Ah. The voice of logic and reason had come to aide drunk Sasuke.

_'Right now, we need to find a way to get some service so we can find out where we are. You're going to have to walk.'_

"Sasuke?"

The raven haired teen mustered the will not to punch the blonde, forced every fiber of his body not to jump on the boy and pummel him. Instead he plastered a soft smile.

"Let's take a walk, we need—"

He was interrupted by a shuffling noise outside the car. He observed as the blonde quickly glanced around, his mouth opening in a silent "o".

"Sasuke, I'm too fucked up for this." The blonde whispered.

The rustling grew louder as whatever was in the grassland approached them. The noise suddenly stopped and Naruto's breathing was deafeningly loud.

"Hey, Sasuke…" The blonde continued in a hushed voice, "Wasn't there something on the news a few days ago… about a serial killer on the loose?"

Sasuke scoffed in disbelief at Naruto's fear.

"It was some dude who had murdered a bunch of people… Last year, he had decorated an abandoned house with real corpses and made it seem like it was some fake haunted house. They still haven't caught him… they call him 'The Slasher'" The banana was now trembling in fear.

"Then you shouldn't have driven out here, usuratonkachi." The dark-haired teen deadpanned, "Anyways, we can't stay here all night long. We need to walk down the road and find some service."

"I don't want to be killed, holy moly, Sasuke. We're going to be murdered tonight by some psycho if we leave!" Naruto was frantic, but because the drug was still surging through his body, he sounded thrilled as well.

To top it off, the boy was now at the height of his peak and his breaths were becoming erratic. Sasuke winced as he heard the boy's teeth grind.

"We'll be fine. Let's just get this over with. It shouldn't be a far walk." Onyx eyes were met with equally dark eyes. The blue was barely visible anymore.

* * *

><p>Sasuke swayed slightly as he continued to stare at the screen of his phone that he was holding over his head. He was feeling slightly better since he had thrown up the majority of the alcohol he consumed.<p>

_'Tsk. Still no reception…'_

They had been walking for about fifteen minutes and there was still no visible sign that they were nearing civilization.

Naruto had clung onto him for a while, whimpering and jumping at every rustle. Although the young Uchiha had thought it was cute and was tempted to pounce on the boy and initiate sexual activity, there were more important matters at hand. It then became annoying when the boy constantly stepped on him and made him trip.

He had shoved the banana-clad boy away, sternly ordering him to stop. The boy had huffed and was now keeping his distance.

But it was too quiet.

Sasuke frowned as he glanced behind him. The blonde was gone.

"Eh?" The teen frowned and turned his body around, searching the vicinity, "Naruto?"

Sasuke took a few steps towards the grassy area that he had passed, using the screen as a means of lighting. There was no human-sized banana in sight.

_'FUCK. Calm down, Sasuke. Did he run off?'_ The teen began to sweat bullets. _'What if he was right…'_

He jumped when he heard a deafening snap behind him, whipping his body around to the source.

Naruto stood before him, his face devoid of any emotions. Although the boy was still wearing the ridiculous banana outfit, his face had completely taken a demonic/possessed look. The boy still looked ridiculous, but in a definite scary way. Sasuke cleared his throat and scoffed in an attempt to cover up his earlier display of fear.

"I am 'TheSlasher'." The blonde verbalized stoically.

Sasuke stared at the boy incredulously. "You're kidding, right? Seriously, dobe, we need to go. We don't have time—"

He paused as he noticed that the boy's left forearm was covered in a dark liquid and was dripping down to the floor. Upon closer inspection, there were splatters of the same dark liquid on the left side of the boys jaw and across the front of his costume.

He had no time to react when the blonde grabbed the front of his shirt and threw him into the tall grass. The breath was knocked out of him as he landed on his side. Sasuke grunted when he felt something grip his ankle and felt the earth beneath him shift. The fucker was dragging him.

"Are you crazy? I'm going to kill you!" The raven-headed teen growled as he attempted to maneuver his body to flip onto his back. The blonde had a death-grip on his leg and wasn't showing any signs of loosening.

The blonde ignored him and continued to drag his body across the grassy area.

_'What if the drugs are having a really bad affect on him?'_

Then he remembered the blood.

_"I am 'The Slasher'"_

Sasuke clawed at the ground beneath him, hoping to find something to hold onto. Or a huge rock he could bash the blonde with.

He then thrashed when he couldn't find anything, jerking his body in an attempt to look at the boy. That's when he noticed what he assumed was his destination.

A small abandoned house stood in the middle of the area.

* * *

><p>Sasuke gasped in pain as the blonde twisted his arms back and restrained his wrists with zip-tie, making quick work to bind his ankles as well.<p>

Naruto had kicked open the rotting wooden door and thrown him inside. The blonde wasted no time. He had climbed on top of him and held him down with this freakish strength the dark-headed teen hadn't known he possessed. He had dodged every swing and kick the Uchiha had directed at him. The blonde had managed to successfully subdue him and he waited in terror as he was pulled into a sitting position.

The room was pitch black and it was impressive that Naruto had done quick work. Perhaps impressive wasn't the right term, Sasuke was beyond horrified, but the fact that the blonde was able to do that with near to no lighting was kind of nifty.

Sasuke squinted in the dark and winced when a growing light pierced the darkness. Naruto had turned on a gas lamp placed at the corner of the room.

The house was tiny and old but not as dirty as the Uchiha had expected it to be. He could tell the wooden floors were rotting, the wallpaper was peeling and there was that old house smell that made his nose itch.

He glared at the other teen, watching in fury as the blonde slowly stood up from his crouching position. He was wielding a sharp pair of scissors.

"You wont get away with this." He growled.

The blonde moved towards him, still devoid of any emotion.

"I'll fucking kill you, bastard!" Sasuke was beginning to panic. He writhed in his position, trying to scooch back and away from the crazy blonde in a blood covered banana suit. He was in full terror mode, his adrenaline racing, as his back hit the wallpaper-covered barrier. "Don't touch me!"

Naruto hunched over Sasuke, reaching out and grasping the front of his shirt. The young Uchiha watched in dread as the blonde brought the scissors up, trailing the point down his cheek to his chin and then making work of slicing through the fabric of his clothes.

In no time, Sasuke was shirtless and his pants were around his ankles.

_'This is what you get, Sasuke… You try to take advantage of a guy and he turns out to be a fucking serial killer. You fucking fail.'_

He bit back another grunt as he was pushed down to lay on his side. He stared murderously at the blonde who seemed to be looking down at him with satisfaction.

"Don't look at me like that, Sasuke." Naruto said breathily as he cocked his head to the side, "This will be fun."

"You don't have to do this, Naru—er, 'The Slasher'," Sasuke pleaded, whimpering when he was pushed onto his back, "You don't need to kill me!"

He tried to wiggle his body away as the blonde hovered over him, those dark iris-less eyes staring down at him with a heated gaze.

"Please!"

His body shook with fear and he was sure he was going to soil himself. He inhaled sharply and opened his mouth to release a scream. His screams were muffled as the blonde smashed his lips against his. His screeches died as the tongue invaded his mouth and attempted to coax his out. Sasuke lay there stupefied, his mouth still open as the blonde drew back.

"Only if you say 'pretty please'," The blonde commented as he gave an obnoxious grin.

Sasuke continued to stare at the other teen in disbelief.

_'This fucking idiot.'_

"Are you stupid?" The raven bellowed in sheer fury, "You drag me out here and waste time for this stupid prank?"

"Mah, Sasuke, you were scared though, huh?" The blonde laughed as the raven thrashed around with renewed vigor.

"I'LL KILL YOU."

Naruto sat up, his legs crossed, and rested propped his chin against the palm of his hand.

"Yeah? And how are you gonna do that?" The blonde gestured with his free hand at the length of Sasuke's body, "You're all tied up."

Sasuke glared up at him, observing how the blonde was examining him with a heated stare. His pupils were no longer as dilated as they were earlier and Naruto was starting to look normal again. He opened his mouth to articulate another threat and suddenly choked as he watched the tanned boys hand reach out to land on his pale thigh. He watched, hypnotized as the hand continued up until it was cupping him through his boxer.

Naruto's grin grew wider as the Uchiha's jaw dropped. When those tanned fingers reached into the slot of his boxers to pull out his hardening member, he swore the bottom of this face had dislodged itself and had rolled off onto the hardwood floor.

Sasuke's body jerked as Naruto grasped his cock firmly, giving slow, torturous pumps and occasionally rubbing his thumb over the slit.

"Fuh-ck." The pale teen rasped.

"Yeah, it gets better." The blonde whispered as he dipped his head down and swiped his tongue over the head of his hardened member.

Sasuke but all screamed. This time, it was in pure, agonizing pleasure, as the blonde sucked him off. The teens head bobbed up and down and Sasuke watched in complete fascination as he watched his erection engulfed in that glorious mouth. His hips bucked as the other teen skillfully deep-throated him, groaning in frustration when the blonde drew back his mouth but continued to stroke him with his hand.

He frowned when the boys administrations halted and realized that he had cut off the zip tie at his ankles and was pulling him up to remove the restraints around his wrist. As soon as they were off, Sasuke wasted no time in pouncing on the boy, momentarily taken aback at what the blonde was still wearing.

"That ass is definitely ripe tonight." The dark-haired teen muttered, trying to hold back a laugh as the tanned boy flushed in embarrassment.

"Teme…"

Sasuke had kicked off his pants and was currently straddling the banana boy, searching for the zipper that would allow him to peel the ridiculous costume off.

_'Get it? Peel? Banana suit?_' Sasuke internally laughed.

"You made a funny in your head, huh." Naruto remarked.

Sasuke nodded.

After a few seconds of trying to figure out where the zipper or whatever it was that was holding the costume together, Sasuke had opted to just rip the costume apart to get to the golden insides. Although Naruto had thought it was sexy that the Uchiha was attempting to rip his costume off with a heated passion, it wasn't going to happen. He had sat up and undid the Velcro backing, slipping off the costume, along with the opaque yellow tights, and resumed their foreplay.

It wasn't long until the blonde was reduced to a puddle of mush. Sasuke had performed the fellatio of his life, exhibiting his skill in alternating sucks, licks, and pumps.

His tongue found its way to Naruto's entrance and the blonde cried out. Pale hands pushed against the back of tanned thighs, exposing the orifice even more.

"Sas'ke…" The blonde groaned as he felt the tongue slide inside him, lubricating him while giving him pleasure. He gasped when he felt a finger probe him and tried not to stiffen when it entered slowly. As soon as the Uchiha deemed that he was becoming comfortable with one finger, he prepared to slip in the second.

Sasuke stared in fascination as he watched thee of his fingers slip in and out of the blonde. The tanned thighs were trembling and a thin sheet of sweat covered the blonde's body.

"Fuck, Sasuke," Naruto breathed, "Fuck me already."

Sasuke didn't need to be told twice.

He bit his cheek from moaning loudly as he pushed into the body under him. The coppery tasted of blood filled his mouth as he watched the other teens face twist in ecstasy.

"Oh fuck, Sas'ke," the blonde grunted, "Does it feel like a warm, wet hug?"

"Fucking better." He replied as he pulled back and slammed himself back in.

The blonde yelped as a wave of pleasure coursed through his body as Sasuke repetitively jabbed at his prostate.

"Don't stop, don't stop!" He demanded as his fingers clawed at the floor.

Sasuke grunted and moved the boys legs aside to wrap it around his waist, situating himself directly on top of the boy.

Naruto's eyes rolled back as the other teen continued to pound into him. This was way better than the drug he took earlier.

The Uchiha groaned his lover's name as he wrapped a hand around the tanned boys cock and began to pump at the head furiously.

"Come for me, babe." He whispered hoarsely.

Naruto's mouth opened in a silent scream as he felt his body tense, the tingle that had started at his toes was now engulfing his body.

Sasuke grunted as he felt the hot, white, sticky fluid flow over his fingers and watched as it dripped onto the tanned stomach.

"Fucking beautiful." He muttered before releasing himself into the blonde boy, collapsing and sliding out to lie on his back.

A silent moment passed between the two teens before the blonde spoke up.

"So. How are we getting home?"

* * *

><p>In the end, a drunk Sakura had staggered into the abandoned house, locating her friend via gps on his phone. To her horror, the two boys didn't notice her presence as they continued to ass pummel each other into the hardwood floors of their love shack.<p>

**END.**


End file.
